This is the real life account of a food mix-up saga that unfolded in our office and all the dorime that came with it.
It happened on Monday morning. Mike, rushing to avoid getting to the office late, quickly grabbed the black nylon containing his food and took off without checking what was packaged for him. Can somebody play Dorime track 1?
On arriving at the office, Mike proceeded to the cafeteria and dropped his food, so eager to start the day’s work that he still didn’t check to see what had been packaged in the black nylon. DJ please play Dorime track 2
As the day went by, Francis, the office assistant, went out to buy lunch for some colleagues. Mike later goes for lunch, picks up his food, finally checks it, sees one boiled egg. He thought it strange because he knew there was chicken at home but was just too hungry to care. He started eating and was almost done when…
Shayo, his colleague, walks in and starts looking for his food with Francis the office assistant. Mike didn’t pay too much attention until he heard “there was a boiled egg in the food.” The description of the food was so apt that it became obvious that Mike don chop person food o…
Upon investigation, Mike’s real food was found having chicken, fish and snail as protein. What sort of sorcery is this? Mike wondered!
Luckily for Mike, Shayo didn’t make a big deal out of it as it was the close of his shift. That’s how Iyanu, another colleague who was in the right place at the right time, ate free food!
One of the hottest, most talked-about events in the Nigerian social circles right now has been Obi Cubana’s mum’s burial and nothing seems to be enough to kill Obi Cubana’s shine.
From the over 400 cows donated to the host, the $100,000 diamond pendant, 67 private jets that landed Oba to the fleet of over 500 luxury cars, the ceremony was as loud as loud can be. We followed this story closely and here are five lessons we gathered from it.
1. Nigerians can joke about anything.
Like, I’m not even sure we take even ourselves seriously anymore. This has to be the height. Somebody’s mother died and people were everywhere on social media saying “God when?” Seriously guys???
2. Invest in your social capital.
They said connect with people, you say no, you’re an introvert, you like your personal space, etc. Being rich in people is a thing, your network is your net-worth. If the sheer amount of cows donated and money sprayed/flung doesn’t change your mind, what will?
3. Make your own soap.
As usual, the whole saga had people saying “cut soap for us” and the likes. In an interview with bbc pidgin, Obi Cubana was asked to cut soap for Nigerians and he responded “dem no dey cut soap for anybody for dis world.” In other words, people, make your own soap o.
4. Work hard consistently.
Since soap cutting is out of it, working hard consistently is the next best thing out there then. Being excellent at what you do will not be enough, you will have to also be consistent with it. Hustle o, make your girlfriend no leave you go party for oba.
5. Nigerian scammers are creative.
All was well and good after the burial ceremony, until I got a dm from Obi Cubana asking for an airtel recharge to help make money fly in my household. Like, what???
It’s exciting times to join the MultiChoice family, as MultiChoice announced a special Limited Time discount offer on its DStv and GOtv decoders – starting Thursday, 1 July 2021, named the Biggie Goals Promo.
The discount has the DStv HD decoder, dish kit and One Month Compact package subscription do a massive dip from N18,600 to N9,900, while GOtv decoder, GOtenna with One Month Max package subscription will go from N9,500 to N6,900.
MultiChoice Nigeria’ Chief Customer Officer, Martin Mabutho, explained that the Biggie Goals Promo is a way of widening access to quality entertainment programming at very affordable rates and a chance for their valued customers to experience a wider range of content on higher packages.
They say it’s summer time but all we are experiencing in these parts is rain, rain, and more rain. The last thing anyone needs right now is for rain to ruin the season, so, here are seven tips on how to survive the rains
Don’t ever forget to close your windows. One of the worst things that can happen to anyone in this season is stepping out of the house, then when the rain begins, you remember that you didn’t close your windows. Many have slept in nature-made waterbeds just because they didn’t pay attention to this tip.
Plan your outfits in advance. This is the season in which your cloths can take up to one week before they get dried up because the rains can help you decide that you haven’t rinsed them enough. You would do well to do your laundry in advance this season.
Never go out without an umbrella. Even if the sun is shining bright and making you sweat, don’t make the mistake of stepping out without taking an umbrella along with you because in 2 secs, your story can be changed by sudden downpour.
Rubber shoes all the way. Now is not the time to wear shoes that are made of cotton or other materials that are very prone to water if you don’t want your footwear to turn into a sponge.
Dress for the cold. As much as possible, ensure you step out with a coat, jacket or sweater in hand. Now is the time to wear thicker fabrics and protect yourself from the cold.
Eat Healthy. You need to pay more attention to your diet during the rains. Avoid street food as much as possible and also keep away from raw vegetables. Maintain a nutritional diet that includes cooked vegetables, fruits, herbal tea. Now is not the time to fall ill.
Select Bouquet, enter DSTV smartcard number, put in your phone number, email address, amount and press ‘continue’
Confirm transaction details, choose payment method and you’re done in these 5 easy steps!
Here’s one more reason you should use VTpass. When you are having re-connection issues, we will help you send a mail to DSTV after which you get reconnected within the next hour. We’re customer-centric like that! Download the VTpass app or visit www.vtpass.com to make your payments now!
Well, it’s exciting times for MultiChoice customers – starting January 14th to March 31st, 2021. That’s because MultiChoice is back with the hugely popular MultiChoice Step Up campaign!
The MultiChoice Step Up Campaign gives all active and disconnected DStv Compact, Confam, and Yanga customers the opportunity to pay for a package a step above their current package and get a boost to view the next higher package.
That means that if a ‘Yanya’ customer subscribes for ‘Confam’, the next package; the customer would automatically be boosted to view ‘Compact’, the bouquet one-step above ‘Confam’.
In the same vein, ‘Confam’ customers would view ‘Compact Plus’ if they pay for ‘Compact’. ‘Compact’ customers would view ‘Premium’ if they pay for ‘Compact Plus’.
Here’s a table explaining this promo better:
Your current subscription
What you get
How much you SAVE
N4,615 for DStv Confam
DStv Compact worth N7,700
N7,900 for DStv Compact
Compact Plus worth N12,400
N12,400 for Compact Plus
DStv Premium worth N18,400
That’s right, you SAVE up to N6000 on this promo to view your favourite DStv channels on DStv Premium.
“Ok, so what of we that use GOtv?” You may ask. Not to worry, GOtv users are not left out. For just N2,999, GOtv Jolli and Jinga customers can step up to GOtv Max worth N3,600!
2020 has certainly not been the best year for football lovers as tournaments and fixtures had to be shifted. Nevertheless, the return of AFCON Qualifiers is enough to lift spirits, especially in African football where fans relish the sport.
AFCON Qualifiers began on 11th November 2020 with Guinea beating Chad in the opening match and Senegal punching a 2-0 blow on Guinea-Bissau.
Yesterday, 12th November was a goal feast for AFCON fans as Cameroon chunked out 4 goals against Mozambique’s 1. Current reigning champions, Algeria, walked over Zimbabwe easily with a 3-1 victory.
Nigeria takes the pitch today, 13th November 2020 against Sierra Leone by 17:00 CAT; and at 20:00 CAT, bafana bafana of South Africa would clash with Sao Tome and Principe. But the most exciting clash of the week rests on the match between Egypt and Togo, Saturday 14th November!
That said, here are our AFCON Qualifiers predictions. Prediction of teams who would make it to AFCON 2021.
2021 AFCON Qualifiers Predictions | Teams to Qualify
A tournament graced by 24 teams all competing for Africa’s Champions Crown would definitely be fierce, but you can expect to see these 12 juggernauts on the pitch come 2021:
Algeria: The current Champions are fast and deadly, recently taking the throne, and wouldn’t be giving it anytime soon.
Egypt: The Pharaohs are AFCON’s most successful champions with 7 titles to their name. Of course, they would make a show.
Senegal: With players like Liverpool’s Sadio Mane, Chelsea’s Edouard Mendy, and Napoli’s Kalidou Koulibaly, Senegal is expected to make it.
Nigeria: Super Eagles of Nigeria have qualified for AFCON year-on-year, 2021 shouldn’t be different. Among them, a gang of young stars.
South Africa: Africa’s most exciting flags to watch wouldn’t miss it. The bafanas are composed of bright players home and away.
Cameroon: Not very consistent over the last few years, Cameroon is yet deadly enough to secure a spot.
Ghana: Nothing short of strength is to be expected of the Black Stars of Ghana.
Morrocco: Another brilliant team from northern Africa. Last competition, they put up a fight. 2021 shouldn’t be any different.
Rwanda: This might come as a surprise to many but Rwanda has been undergoing major sporting changes. Experts predict the result of their sporting project to show in AFCON 2021.
Ivory Coast: They are not called Elephants for nothing! Besides, the orange shirts make a colorful divergence from all the greens and yellows.
Kenya: When a squad of strong legs is on the ship, you just know they would roll through. Kenya would make 2021 AFCON.
Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, there is still the qualifiers to play after all. So put on your football socks, subscribe your GOtv, DStv, or Startimes, relax into the games, and enjoy the matches!
On Tuesday 29th October, and Wednesday 21st October, the first leg of the 2020/2021 UEFA Champions League season playoff. We witnessed the return of Europe’s most thrilling football competition and the art of top soccer athletes.
The group stages of the tournament began with surprises and might just end with some more. In this article, we go over some of the unexpected match results from the UEFA champions league 2020/21 opener and matches to watch out for in the group stage:
Paris Saint Germain vs. Manchester United
Perhaps the only surprise from this encounter was the fact that PSG could still lose to Manchester United after their performance last season. The men from Paris made it to the finals last season but fell behind to Bayern Munich in a 1-0 contest.
Two seasons ago, Manchester United beat PSG 1-3 at the Parc des Princes stadium; everyone thought the Parisians would make a statement in this match with a win. But they fell behind 2 goals to 1 to the Reds.
Chelsea vs. Sevilla
Ok, not much surprise, but here is a match where a 300 million Euro Chelsea squad faces a firepower Sevilla and it ended 0-0. Fans were left a bit disappointed and so are we.
Real Madrid vs. Shakhtar Donetsk
Real lost 0-1 to newly-promoted Cadiz last week in La Liga Santander; so it came more like a shock when Shakhtar put them 2-3 to the sword again at home.
Fans all over social media brought Real Madrid’s manager Zinedine Zidane under fire. But we feel the manager can only do much. With these results, Real Madrid needs a total squad rethink.
Pretty much every other game produced expected or near results, especially Bayern Munich who pounded Athletico Madrid 4-0 as a warning of their intent to retain the European Champions crown.
Now, let’s see the top group matches that you can’t afford to miss:
Barcelona vs Juventus: The long-awaited Messi vs. Ronaldo meeting after 3 years since Christiano Ronaldo left La Liga would finally happen. Twice!
Athletico Madrid vs Bayern Munich: The Germans already drew first blood with their 4-0 victory over their Spanish rival. But all roads lead to the Wanda Metropolitano for the return leg.
Manchester United vs PSG: Neymar and Mbappe have still got a chance to prove to Europe that Manchester United is not superior to the entire French football.
Sevilla vs Chelsea: The return leg of this encounter would hold at Seville and we can’t wait to see it! Perhaps, this is one of the most anticipated encounters after Barcelona vs Juventus.
Real Madrid vs Inter Millan: These two giants would meet in the third week of the tournament. A big one. We would get to finally see Zidane take on Conte in a European competition.
To catch all these actions live on your television, subscribe your GOtv or DStv with VTpass, either on the web or mobile app. We’ve got you covered!
New seasons of the English Premier League (EPL), Spanish La Liga, German Bundesliga, Italian Seria A and French Ligue un are back.
Just last week, Crystal Palace knocked Manchester United 3-1 at Old Trafford, bringing back the ‘anything can happen’ tingles of the premier league.
In Germany, current UEFA champions and Bundesliga winner, Bayern Munich kickstarted their new season with an 8-0 slaughter of Schalke. Jeez!
Christiano Ronaldo pulled in a late one on the 88th minute as Juventus cruised 3-0 over Sampdoria in Seria A season opener. Guess the race for who’s best between him and his long time rival, Lionel Messi has just begun.
Speaking of Messi; he is yet to record a goal this season as FC Barcelona is just concluding pre-season ahead of 2020-21 La Liga.
Something to look out for, right? Or perhaps, we should look with awe into Ligue Un where Paris Saint Germain sits 8th on the league table haven lost two early matches. Hmmm. . .
With so much cooking up in Europe’s top 5 leagues, here are 5 things to look out for as the 2020-21 season unfolds:
The over-broadcasted news about Messi leaving FC Barcelona would most likely be felt all season long. Every move made by the Argentine would surely be scrutinized in the light of this.
Although reports state that Messi is willing to play one more season with Barcelona, all eyes are on him. Would he punish Barca for refusing to let him go or would he deliver yet another stunning result this season?
Bayern for another UEFA title?
Following a strong year for Bayern Munich last season, experts are predicting the German against might bag themselves yet another UEFA Champions League title; that is if they continue playing as they are currently.
The early 8-0 trashing of strong rivals, Schalke last week already shows Bayern’s intent. And with a solid squad of young talents, an ambitious coach and passionate fans, those predictions might just come true.
Liverpool on the hot seat
Current EPL champions are starting the season in a position all previous EPL winners do find themselves; – defending the title. Jurgen Klopp managed to pull a stunt for the reds last season by winning the title for Liverpool’s after a 30-years old title draught.
Now, he finds himself defending the title against strong contenders; the likes of Manchester City, Manchester United and Chelsea; a team that just spent $300 million on boosting their squad.
Another UEFA, Another Barca, Another Drama?
Barcelona has become the object of mockery in UEFA Champions League following 4 consecutive humiliating exists. The latter being an 8-2 trashing at the hands of Bayern Munich.
The club has shown spirit, however, in starting a new sporting project; signing new talents, urging old legs out, bringing in a more fitting manager, shifting some powers is management, etc; but fans around the world would never forget Barca’s UEFA Champions League woes.
Another UEFA, another Barca!
New Phase for Juventus?
When Christiano Ronaldo joined Juventus, it was solely to help them win the UEFA Champions League. 3 years down the lane, that is yet to happen.
Juventus had to sack Maurizio Sarri following a disappointing season in 2019-20 UEFA and appointed Andrea Pirlo as new manager. Is this the new face to lead Juventus into European glory once again?
To catch all of the footballing action this season, simply subscribe your GOtv, DStv or StarTimes. Non-stop entertainment waiting for you! Renew TV subscription with VTpass.